Building and maintaining healthy relationships (2024)

What is a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships are good for you. Supportive and loving relationships are more likely to make you feel happy and satisfied. A healthy relationship with your partner and family members can improve your life, wellbeing and make everyone feel good about themselves.

Healthy relationships don't happen on their own. They take time to build and need work to keep them healthy. The more positive effort you put into a relationship, the healthier it should be.

What are the signs of a healthy relationship?

People in healthy relationships love and support each other. They help each other practically, as well as emotionally. They are there for each other in the good times as well as the bad times.

Healthy relationships are commonly based on:

• respect, honesty and trust
• open communication
• equality
• both shared and individual interests
• understanding
• care
• shared values around finances, child raising and other important matters

What are the benefits of healthy relationships?

People who have healthy relationships are more likely to feel happy and satisfied with their lives. They are less likely to have physical and mental health problems.

Healthy relationships can:

• increase your sense of worth, belonging and help you feel less alone
• give you confidence
• help you overcome difficult times in your life

What is communication in a healthy relationship?

People who are in a healthy relationship talk and listen to each other regularly and effectively.

Misunderstandings can happen, and that can lead to people being upset, hurt or confused.

When communicating make sure you:

• Remain clear about what you want to say.
• Make a real effort to understand what the other person is saying.
• Double-check that you have understood correctly.

Loving each other doesn't necessarily mean you know what the other person is thinking or that you will be able to communicate well.

To have more open communication in your relationship you can:

• Set aside time to speak to each other without interruptions.
• Kiss and hug your partner and make eye contact when you communicate.
• Truly listen to each other.
• Talk about things honestly and respectfully.
• Talk about what is happening in your lives — both the small and big things.
• Tell your partner what you want and need, and discuss if you have different opinions.

Communication is not just talking. Non-verbal communication, including your posture, tone of voice and facial expressions can tell the other person how you feel.

Non-verbal communication can even be stronger than what you're saying, if your behaviour doesn't match your words.

How can I maintain healthy relationships?

Maintaining healthy relationships is important and takes time and commitment. No relationship is perfect, but it is important that relationships brings you more happiness than stress.

Here are some tips for a healthy relationship.

• Be clear about what you want — It helps you make your point clearly and honestly while respecting the other person's point of view. Try using 'I' statements instead of critical 'you' statements. For example, say 'I really hate it when you don't clean up the dishes” rather than 'You never help me in the kitchen”.
• Say sorry when you're wrong — This is really important, as it helps heal relationships and make them stronger.
• Be affectionate and show appreciation — Relationships can become routine after a while. Make special time together and continue to show your affection. Even just snuggling on the couch after work helps show intimacy.
• Make your relationship a priority — It can be hard to balance relationships, work, family and friends. You can help establish a work-life balance by setting limits at work and learning to say 'no”. This will ensure you make time for your relationship.
• Find shared interests — Finding hobbies you both enjoy allows you to spend time together. This could be as simple as doing a night class together or taking up a new sport.
• Find solutions that work for both of you — Conflict occasionally occurs in any relationship. It is essential that you both respect and accept your differences and similarities. Finding solutions that work for both of you will probably require compromise at different times.
• Make time for family time — Finding time together as a family can be difficult. However, even one family meal a week gives everyone a chance to catch up, connect and communicate with each other.

Are you having relationship issues?

It is normal to have ups and downs in a relationship. It is also normal to have different opinions. Both relationships and people change over time.

Your relationship is an unhealthy relationship if one partner has more power than another, or if one partner is abusive or violent.

When a relationship ends

The end of a relationship can be a very painful time. It may take 2 years or more for people whose long-term relationship has ended to recover and to put their lives together again. Some people develop serious health and emotional problems during this time.

Resources and support

If you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, here are some organisations that can help:

• Lifeline (anyone having a personal crisis) — call 13 11 14 or chat online.
• MensLine Australia (online counselling and forum for men) — call 1300 78 99 78.
• Relationships Australia provides support groups and relationship counselling, including for people in an abusive relationship — call 1300 364 277.

Looking for information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people?

Relationship Australia offers Aboriginal community support.

Do you prefer to read in languages other than English?

Peace multicultural services have resources and support for people from diverse language and cultural backgrounds to lead healthy lives.